Last Night, I Had A Dream

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Listen while you read:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tXHBGnGf1g

Sit down kids. This is creepy and self-incriminating!

My dreams have been occasionally visited by sitting US Presidents over the years. Looking back it seems like only the Republican presidents bothered to show up there.

Come to think of it, I fashioned a pretty respectable bust of Nixon in my grade school pottery class, based on the famous kitchen faucet caricature on the cover of Newsweek.

Richard M Nixon, by me in 3rd grade

Anyway, last week’s freaky presidential visitation was just as weird as having Bush senior decline my offer to jam on some bluegrass.

I was in the basement of the Illini Union, sitting about 25 feet from captain truckballs himself, and we were having a conversation while he casually tossed saltines on all over the red carpet of the cafeteria.

I spent many hours here pretending to study…

The most repulsive thing was the conversation, and my part in it: He was buttering me up, and I was loving it! He said I was really smart, and I was saying “Well, I have been to Europe several times, and my mom lived in the Middle East for decades!” And he laid it on thick: “Wow, you really know a lot about foreign policy for an American!” And I felt super-proud of myself.

Waking up I laugh-barfed out loud as I recounted it, while my self-disgust at being such a repulsive toady was overcome by the ridiculousness of the situation. Virginia was quick to point out the wordplay in the scene, the way the other guy discarded crackers with no regard for them.

But wow, I am stunned by the mercilessness of my hypercritical self-image. I am pretty sure that while I’m awake I have a higher opinion of myself. Sure I grew up in the middle of a cornfield, but to quote Liz Taylor’s character in Who’s Afraid, “I been to college like everyone else.”

By God’s Astounding Grace, neither Mike Pence, nor Jeff Goldblum made an appearance in my nocturnal theatre just now in the wake of the VP debates.

Yet, anyway.

Ok, now it’s your turn.

Share your freaky political dreams if you dare! But don’t leave out the embarrassing parts or I WILL KNOW.

Sit down kids. ADHDreams can be creepy and self-incriminating!

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